Credits, curriculum, requirements, oh my! Over and over I have homeschool mamas ask me how to navigate homeschooling in the high school years. The overwhelm and anxiety around taking responsibility for your child’s education through the high school years is intense!
I’m here to tell you it’s only as difficult as you make it. That sounds really harsh at first, so let me unpack that a bit. With the right focus and guidance, homeschooling your teen through high school can actually be a joy filled experience rather than a battleground!
First, check out your state’s requirements for homeschooling at hslda.org. While a few states do have requirements for homeschool graduation (like Pennsylvania and New York), most do not. Most states are more concerned with how you report and track your homeschool (AKA government oversight), not the specific credits needed for graduation.
If you’re in a free state like I am, you, the educator, get to decide what is required to graduate from your school! That should feel very liberating!
Almost immediately following that liberating feeling, you may be asking, “Then what do I require and how do I know my child is ready for life after high school?!” To that, I say, are you not still his/her mother? You’ll know, my friend.
NOTE: If your child is 0-12 years old, please save this post for later. Let them enjoy their childhood and be in the season you’re in. I am a planner. I get it. You want to be prepared when the time comes. But the truth is you don’t know yet who your child will be and where their strengths and passions will lie until you start to stare down the barrel of teenhood. So until they’re 13, I prefer to take a more relaxed, interest-led approach to education. Read more about that here.
Now that it’s just the homeschoolers of 13+ in freestyling states, let’s get into it. My oldest son graduated from our homeschool in 2023. What I’m about to share with you is a mix of things I think we did well, things I will do differently with my other kids and things I wish someone had warned me about. Grab your favorite hot beverage and let’s get into it.
Things we did well
- A focus on life skills. The number one most asked question of every Junior or Senior (last 2 years of secondary school in the US) is “What will you do after high school?” My personal opinions about how unfair it is to expect a 16-17 year old to have the long range life planning skills to adequately answer that question aside. I thought of the practical life skills I wish I’d known as a new, out on my own young adult… So we did things like cooking, meal planning, budgeting, household maintenance, etc. I like to call it “How to be a Good Roommate or Spouse 101.”
- Focused on family connection, coping skills and relationships. Life can be hard and disappointing at times. So many young people today don’t have the emotional skillset to handle life simply not panning out the way they’d hoped. We spent a LOT of time working on regulating emotions and building healthy relationships during the high school/teen years. Lord knows emotional regulation is MUCH NEEDED during those years (as much for Mom as the teen)! I’ll be honest, with a trauma kid, this is doubly important and although it wasn’t pre-planned, it accidentally became a central focus during those formidable years. It was fruitful and he will carry those skills into adulthood and his future marriage. We’re not just raising worker bees for the system, we’re raising and educating husbands and wives, parents of our grandchildren and community leaders. They need to have good relational skills!
- Make interest-led education choices. In addition to life skills and relationship skills, there are of course academic choices to be made. I can’t stress enough how important it is to involve your teen in these decisions. Ask them which topics they’re interested in. Choose curriculum and strategies that support their interests and goals. My son was interested in the trades and had zero desire to go to university. So we used the Careers & Trades Unit from Gather Round Homeschool to explore career paths. He also did a personal finance course from Dave Ramsey because he wanted to know how to manage his own finances beyond basic budgeting. As a pastime, he loved playing piano and writing novels, so we leaned into creative writing and music.
Things I’d do differently
- Let them get work experience. We encouraged our son to get a job during high school. However, my husband was much more adamant about it than I was. I wanted to prioritize education and graduation. My husband wanted our son to gain a strong work ethic and experience “real life” in the workplace as quickly as possible. I’m not too proud to admit that he was right. Academics are important. Life experience and opportunities to work and receive feedback from employers are equally important.
- Let them fail. It’s so hard as a mom not to rescue our kids from danger. We’ve spent their whole life keeping them safe! But as we navigate the teen years, it’s so important to let them learn from their own choices and mistakes. The more feedback they can gain from a failed business idea, job opportunity or hobby, the more resilient and prepared for life outside the nest they will be. Life is a better teacher than I am!
- Let them try out different passions and interests. Even if you think it’s totally dumb and will never become significant. The teen years are the perfect time to try different hobbies, interests and passions to see what fits them and what doesn’t. There’s no threat of financial ruin or looming bills. So let them see if they can make a go of that rock shop on etsy! My son was obsessed with video games and YouTube from the time he was about 9. Due to their addictive nature, we heavily restricted electronics (no regrets there). However, when he was 17, during a heated discussion, he blurted out, “You never let me pursue my dreams!” After a few probing questions, he shared he’d always dreamed of being a successful YouTuber. I conceded. We started a course on how to create and develop a YouTube channel, algorithms, monetizable topics, etc. Within 2 weeks he realized it wasn’t as glamorous as he thought and quickly lost interest. I wish we would’ve figured that out much earlier! Then he could’ve moved on to discovering other dreams sooner.
Things I wish someone would’ve warned me about
- They leave sooner than you realize. So much time is spent planning their education and helping them gain the skills for launching into adulthood. Then suddenly one day, you’re watching them pack up their whole life and wave goodbye in the driveway. As a dear friend recently confided, “It’s like we accidentally hit the launch button while we were searching for the launch sequence!”
- You don’t stop being Mom. But their need for you shifts. Where you used to be the authority and trainer, in the teen years, you should become more of a guidance counselor, removing the proverbial training wheels. This is their life and their childhood. Let them get into the driver’s seat! And after they move out, their need for you shifts again. While the phone calls and visits come less frequently, they do still need us. I relish the occasional request for relationship advice, family game night and random drop in. Certainly they won’t be in your house 24/7 and you’ll be less intimately acquainted with their comings and goings, friend group or life choices. But those moments they let you into are precious!
- You are not responsible for the outcome. Whatever your teen or adult child does is not a direct reflection on your success or failure as a parent. At the end of the day, it’s their life and they will reap the consequences of their choices-not you. It’s so hard, especially for homeschool moms, to separate from the outcome of their grown child’s education and life choices. This launching off adults thing is not for the faint of heart. The whole point is to get them to a place where they no longer need you to make decisions for them, keep them safe… But that means you have to let them go and remove yourself from the equation. It’s no longer about you. It’s about them finding their wings. And sometimes it’s a painful scene to watch. Whether they succeed or fail, it’s not a reflection on you. Just as you can’t beat yourself up for an adult child who makes disappointing choices, you also can’t take credit for one who makes great decisions. You ultimately have to do the best you can with what you have as a parent and realize that they are also doing the best they can with what they have.
Keeping Records
So what about the record keeping side of things?! As for tracking credits (which seems to be of great concern), it can be a basic excel spreadsheet. I can’t recall where I found the one I used, so I can’t give proper credit. I love that it’s simple and straightforward. If my son decides he wants to get a post secondary education later, he will have the necessary documents to do so.
In terms of what to track and how to give credit, that’s entirely up to you. If your student loves music and continues taking lessons and improving their skill, you can give high school credit for Music Performance or Piano Pedagogy. The generally accepted rule of thumb is 12 hours of training = 1 HS credit. Do we set timers? No.
High School Assessment
I like to set an appointment once in December and once in May for a student/teacher conference of sorts. I’ll talk with my teen about what they studied that semester and reflect on deep dive topics, math, language arts, science and history. What did they learn; what would they like to learn? This gives me a good basis for giving credit and making any necessary shifts to our focus. It’s not so much a formal meeting or them proving they’ve done all their assignments. But more so a time to connect, reflect, and narrate in true Charlotte Mason fashion. It also gives me a good place to goal set for the next semester. We dropped the ball on Language Arts? Do we need to switch curriculum, approach or just make a more concerted effort? This is an opportunity for your teen to take ownership of their education! I think so often we get hung up on academic requirements that we forget that high school is a chance to begin to hand over the reins of their young adult life to them.
People also often ask about a diploma. Honestly, the high school diploma is for ceremonial purposes only. I couldn’t tell you where mine is and can’t recall a single time I had to show it. Universities and scholarship programs ask for the transcripts as a record of courses and grades. You can literally design one on Canva. The diploma is not the important document. The transcript is.
Accreditation
Every now and then I will see a new homeschooler asking for accredited curriculum resources. There’s a misconception that accredited curriculum is required for college entrance or validation of high school or ability to transfer credits. This all is simply not true. Accreditation is a form of credentialing schools, not the curriculum. Accreditation is also varied from state to state. A Kentucky accredited umbrella school would be invalid in a South Dakota homeschool. It might lead you to believe it is meeting some sort of educational standard, but that’s simply not true. If you see a homeschool curriculum marketed as “accredited,” it’s just a ploy. So it’s really just a hyped up selling point preying on your insecurity.
SATs & ACTs
Another step I recommend if your teen is considering going to university is to have them take the ACT or SAT. I had a homeschool transcript & diploma myself and got into college just fine. I also almost joined the military (that’s another story). Everyone was fine with my transcript and homeschool documents. However, the ACT score was a valuable piece of leveraging for scholarships and placement. Even though I’d taken my ACT 5 years prior to applying for college, it proved to be helpful and validating. Have your student take the ACT in their Junior year and if they don’t do as well as they’d hoped, they can retake it their Senior year after studying for it a bit more.
Conclusion
Finally, as my wise friend recently reminded me, “Homeschooling in high school isn’t only about them receiving a rich education. This is also a major part of their childhood!” Let them enjoy and be fully present in this season of their childhood. Don’t get so focused on the future that you miss out on today.
What’s your biggest concern about homeschooling through the high school years?
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