It was 1989 and my mom had decided to homeschool us. She hit up an auction and scored a HUGE blackboard and 3 little desks like you’d see on Anne of Green Gables. Heaps of curriculum were purchased for every subject she could think of: Math, Social Studies, Language Arts, Science, History, Phonics (even though I already knew how to read), Spanish, Bible, etc. And a few classic novels and boxed sets of chapter books for good measure. Her chart was hanging neatly on the wall, ready to be sticker. Within weeks, we were bored and she was in tears. There was a revolt on the horizon. This was not what any of us signed up for.
With all the best intentions and enthusiasm she could muster, my mom spent money we probably didn’t have on piles of curriculum based on what all the textbook companies said she needed. But those textbooks were just as dull as they’d been in the classroom.
Sound familiar?
Like many new homeschoolers, my mom was doing the best she could with what she knew. But all she had known up until that point was the public school system. It was all she (or any of us) had experienced. Mimicking the very same broken system we were trying to escape only brought the same results. Bored, disengaged, resistant learners. It’s like that old definition of insanity: doing the same thing, expecting different results.
External Methods
Textbooks can’t motivate your kids. And browbeating won’t do the trick either. Threatening, taking away electronics, dangling rewards won’t bring true motivation either. As soon as those rewards (or punishments) are removed, motivation vanishes. Sure, the work might get done for a little while…as long as the rewards or punishments are ever in focus. But if you step back and really think about it, is this self motivation or simply behavior modification through external means? And which do you want to help your child develop?
The institutional way of doing school is like placing our organic kids on a conveyor belt and letting the “machine” shape them into good little factory workers and “yes men”. This might’ve worked as intended for a time during the industrial revolution, but today we need innovators, free thinkers and neurodivergent (yes, that’s a good thing) problem solvers! That old way of doing things doesn’t cultivate problem solving, creativity or motivation.
So why do most homeschoolers replicate the dying and outdated system?
Because it’s all you’ve experienced too. Old habits die hard.
The path to custom education can be difficult to see without removing the lenses of “this is how we’ve always done it!” I can’t tell you how many homeschool parents I’ve heard say, “I don’t know why we have to diagram sentences. We just do. I survived it. My kids will just have to suffer through like I did.”
Wait. Isn’t that why we decided to homeschool in the first place? To give our kids a better, more unique learning experience than we had. To help them escape classrooms where everyone is learning the same thing because the powers that be say this is what they all should be learning during the 12th year of their existence on the planet.
Now here’s a crazy concept: Do all 34 year old Americans have the same knowledge bank? NO! We have different interests, experiences and passions. Each person of 34 years old may have differing life lessons and areas of expertise. Yet for the first 13 years of education, everyone learns basically the same material. No opportunity for self exploration or personal growth. Minimal customization for learning differences. And certainly no going off the predetermined plan! No rabbit holes for feeding specific interests or passions.
How did you know what you wanted for your future?
We ask kids what they want to be when they grow up, yet we give them no opportunities to experiment and try out different things. Not until University or their early 20’s when the pressure of adulthood and responsibilities are high! Want to be an engineer? You’ll have to go in debt for tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars before you even get to intern. And then what if you hate it?! Too bad, you have student loans and rent to pay!
Now let’s scale all the way back to elementary school, where we first began this journey. What does true education look like? Consider how your kids learn best? If the classroom doesn’t serve them, what does? How can they engage lessons of life and culture and science and even mathematics in an organic way? Is playing really a “waste of time” or a gift for learning and growth? Does motivation have to do with external forces? And if internal motivation is the goal, how do we encourage our teenagers especially to find internal drive and zest for life?
True Motivation
I have a few working theories around that motivation concept specifically based on my personal experience as a homeschool mom and extensive research done by people far more intelligent than me.
Internal motivation comes from within, so using external training can ONLY result in external motivation. So how do you train internal motivation? That’s a great question! And I have a hack. But I’m only sharing it with those who REALLY are willing to seek it out. Click the button below if you’d like to download my Homeschool Reboot Guide and discover how to motivate your kids to do the work and explore their interests (outside of video games).